Mystery Mega Muffins.

You've seen em'. You have probably even indulged in a few. Sitting like a fat little critter behind the shiny glass counter of your local coffee shop or bakery.  They are what I call Mystery Mega Muffins. Usually the size of your head and given names like "Low-Fat," or "Blueberry-Banana-Nut" to make you think they are nutritious. Don't be deceived.  Specks of berries, or a sprinkling of nuts all but cover up the gross truth behind most Mystery Mega Muffins.

Col. Nathan R. Jessep:	You want answers about them MUFFINS?
Lt. Daniel Kaffee:	I think I'm entitled.
Col. Nathan R. Jessep:	You want answers?!
Lt. Daniel Kaffee:	I want the truth!
Col. Nathan R. Jessep	You can't handle the truth!

Q; What's the difference between most muffins and a cupcake?

A: Muffin at all!

Case and point...

Otis Spunkmeyer Muffins Wild Blueberry

Calories:	420 cal
Fat:	22
Saturated Fat:	3
Cholesterol:	0
Protein:	0
Carbohydrates:	0 g
Fiber:	0
Sugars:	30
Sodium:	0

Otis Spunkmeyer Banana Nut Muffin

460 calories
22 g fat (3 g saturated)
32 g sugar

Wow! A muffin with the calorie equivalent to a double cheeseburger! Amazing! 
And according to http://www.spunkmeyer.com/Our-Products/Channel-Information/Foodservice-Products/Muffins/Muffins/,  


"— 7 out of every 10 (Otis Spunkmeyer) muffins are bought on impulse!" I know how tempting they look in line at the university market, but you may think twice before stocking up.

How about a muffin that lives up to its wholesome reputation? With all natural, real, good-for-ya ingredients that you can pronounce! You cannot go wrong with these soft and sweet treats that are perfect for fall!

Cinna-Apple Walnut Muffins

1 Apple - peeled and sliced 

2 Tsp Butter

1/2 Cup chopped walnuts

A sprinkle of cinnamon sugar

2 C Flour

1 tsp Baking Soda

1 tsp cinnamon

1/2 tsp allspice

1 egg

1 cup applesauce

2 TB veg. oil

1 C Brown Sugar

1 tsp vanilla

2/3 cup quick cooking oats

1/2 cup raisens/craisen/ or whatever dried fruit you fancy

  ---Preheat Oven to 350

1. In a small skillet, melt butter and toss in sliced apple and walnuts and cinnamon sugar.  Over medium heat, allow for the apples to soften and the walnuts to toast as you build that batter.

2. In a separate bowl, sift together flour, baking soda, cinnamon,  and allspice.

3. In another bowl combine egg, applesauce, veg. oil, brown sugar,  and vanilla. Stirrrrrrritup!

4. Fold together the wet and dry ingredients. Do not over mix.

5. Fold in the oats, raisens, and the apple-walnut mixture.

6. Drop batter into muffin liners. Only 3/4 of the way full please!

---- *If you want to get fancy, sprinkle the tops of the muffins with walnuts, cinnamon sugar, or apple slices before you bake!

7. Bake for 20 min or untill a toothpick comes out clean!

8. ENJOY a guiltfree- delicious muffin... Or two... Or three?

This muffin that DOESN'T add stuffin' to the muffin-top ;)

Urban Dictionary definition of 

5.	muffin top	334 up, 108 down
	buy muffin top mugs, tshirts and magnets When your love handles burst out over the top of your tight pants, giving your lower back/butt the appearance of a muffin. Man Look at Joanie over there with those skanky jeans on, she sure has a wild case of muffin top.

Perfect Day Breakfast!

Sun's up

A little after twelve

Make breakfast for myself

Leave the work for someone else

People say

They say that it's just a phase

They tell me to act my age,

Well I am

On this perfect day,

Nothing's standing in my way

Hoku had the right idea... From the moment we wake up, we are in control of our mood, and can make each day as perfect as we want it to be.  

Of course, fate has a way of tripping up our good moods. 

However, I believe that facing adversity is a lot easier with a smile on our face and a full stomach!

Step 1 for a Perfect Day: BREAKFAST!

This is a recipe for those lazy summer mornings where you are awaken by a drip of sunlight and your neighbor's lawn mower.  A nutritious and delicious dish to start your very own perfect day!

Baked Oatmeal
The goodness of a cookie, the simplicity of cereal! Full of fiber, omega-3's and protein to keep you walking on sunshine!

What you need:2  cups  uncooked quick-cooking oats

• 1/2  cup  packed brown sugar
• 1/3  cup  raisins (-crasins- dried bluberries... etc... What every chewy bits you love!)
• 1/4  cup  chopped walnuts- ( pecans, almonds, etc.... You choose your nuts!)
• 1  teaspoon  baking powder
• 1/2 tsp. cinnamon
• 1 1/2  cups  fat-free milk
• 1/2  cup  applesauce
• 1 tsp Vanilla
• 2  tablespoons  butter, melted
• 1  large egg, beaten
• Cooking spray

Preparation

Preheat oven to 375°.

1.Combine the dry ingredients in a medium bowl. 

2. Combine the milk, applesauce, vanilla, butter, and egg. 

3. Add milk mixture to oat mixture; stir well. 

4. Pour oat mixture into an 8-inch square baking dish coated with cooking spray. 

5. Bake at 375° for 20 minutes. Serve warm.

--- Mmmm! I topped mine with milk, a dollop and yogurt and sliced nectarine!  Jazz up your oats to your  liking!

Thank you complex carbs fiber and protein... Now i can enjoy this beautiful day!

Taste the Rainbow!

Home from College... Back to the relaxed, simple life... 

And back to a full kitchen of natural, fresh produce and exotic spices. Thank you Jesus.
Now that you and I are out of the dining hall, it is time to graduate to big kid recipes!  I am talking funky, fabulous, new and CRAZY dishes that are easy and delicious-- And as always nutritious!

So let's start your summer off right with a bright and cheery side dish!

Do you like sunshine?

Smiling?

Pretty colors?

Well my joyful friend, you will LOVE ...

Rainbow Ginger-Lime Couscous!

Not only is it as pretty as a Crayola 64 Pack, but it is power-packed with nutritious goodness!
Not getting enough fiber? Lacking fresh veggies in your diet?   FORGET ABOUT IT and just make this OK?


What You Need
- A box of couscous
- a small can of green chiles
- 2 TB fresh ginger
- 1/2 tsp turmeric
-  2 TB honey
- 1/4 cup lime juice
- 1/4 cup olive oil

All measurements to your liking of...
- craisens
- cilantro
- carrots
- celery

1. Cook your couscous according to the box! (so easy.. You put it in hot water.. and wait... DUH)

2.  In the food processor combine green chiles, ginger, tumeric, honey, lime juice and olive oil.... And give her a good BZZZZZZZZZ!

3. Combine finely chopped celery, carrots,  cilantro, and craisens into the couscous... So many "c" words...

4. Pour in the ginger lime dressing and fold it all together!

5.  Feel the colorful bliss from the inside out... Like the young lady below. I took this picture by the way.



Rainbows continued...
When it comes to healthy eating... Just remember to EAT THE RAINBOW!  Here are some fun facts about what the color of your food means.  

These colors are all naturally occurring of course! So don't think that rainbow sherbet, or skittles are covering your nutritional needs! 

Red

-tomatos, strawberries, red peppers, cherries...

Rosy-hued fruits and vegetables offer a payload of an important antioxidant called lycopene, which is associated with health benefits like protecting the skin from sun damage and decreasing the risk of heart disease and certain forms of cancer.

Orange

-cantaloupe, oranges, carrots, sweet potato

The vaunted vitamin C monster has critical phytonutrients known to lower blood pressure and contain strong anti-inflammatory properties. Juice is fine, but the real fruit is even better.

The secret, though, is that the orange's most powerful healing properties are found in the peel. Use a zester to grate the peel over bowls of yogurt or salads or directly into smoothies.

Yellow

- Bananas, yellow peppers, corn, 

Yellow foods are close relatives to orange foods, and, likewise, they are rich in carotenoids. Studies show yellow foods can decrease the likelihood for such diseases as lung cancer and arthritis, but since youngsters have more important things to worry about, you're better off selling yellow foods on their superpowers—jumping higher and playing harder!

Research shows that yellow foods help decrease inflammation in the joints, ensuring a springy step in kids for years to come. Studies also show they may improve the functioning of the respiratory system, making beating their classmates in dodgeball and relay races just that much easier.

Green

- spinach, broccoli, Brussels sprouts,  zucchini 

Not just potent vitamin vessels capable of strengthening bones, muscles and brains, green foods are also among the most abundant sources of an antioxidant tag team that, among other things, promotes healthy vision.

Blue, Indigo and Purple

-eggplant, blueberries, blackberries, purple cabbage

Blue, indigo and purple foods get their colors from the presence of a unique set of antioxidants called flavonoids. In general, flavonoids are known to improve cardiovascular health and prevent short-term memory loss—but the deeply pigmented ones in blue and purple foods go even further.

Researchers at Tufts University have found that blueberries may make brain cells respond better to incoming messages and might even spur the growth of new nerve cells, providing a new meaning to "smart eating."

To learn more about this check out --> http://www.oprah.com/health/Eat-the-Rainbow/7

Primo Pasta

Someone recently told me that Olive Garden is the McDonalds of Italian food.  If that is so, than Shively Dining Hall's pasta bar must be something fierce...

That being said, we must try and break free from Italian chain restaurants and search out authentic Italian cooking.  You know the kind of Italian food made by some little grandma with ancient recipes from her homeland.  However, most college students do not have the luxury of having a little Italian bistro, or even that of an endless soup and salad of an Olive Garden.

<--- Quintessential Italian Grandma

Dining halls do not usually mean primo pasta.  No. Quite the opposite.  Highly processed, mushy noodles, that are drowned in mysterious marinaras and alfredos that most likely came from a plastic tub.

You cannot always have perfectly prepared pasta.... So when the dining hall gives you lemons... Make a citrus summertime pasta with shrimp!!

Citrus Summertime Fetachini with Shrimp

What you Need:
- pasta of any sort
- 3 T olive oil
- 1 T lemon juice
- shrimp
- Feta cheese
-broccoli
- spinach
- cherry tomato
- basil
-salt +  pepper


1. Drizzle your noodles with Olive Oil and mix in all the veggies and shrimp, basil, salt and pepper.


2. sprinkle on the feta and microwave until everything is melty and warm!


3. Enjoy a much classier pasta



Looking for another option?

How about... DRUM ROLL PLEASE!

Blushing Spaghetti with Grilled Chicken and mushrooms

What You Need:
- Spaghetti
- grilled chicken
- cooked mushrooms
- 4 T cup marinara sauce
-  drizzle of olive oil
- 2 T alfredo sauce
- spinach
- fresh tomato
- spinach


1. Combine marinara , olive oil, and alfredo for
your creamy blushing tomato sauce!


2. Toss your spaghetti with blushing sauce, grilled chicken, muschrooms, and tomato.


3. julianne ( slice thinly!) your spinach


4. top it off with CHEESE, cheese, and more cheese.


5. Lady and the Tramp it up!

The Dorm-Room-Scramble!

Eggs are a breakfast commodity that too many college students think they have to go without.
How could you possibly enjoy eggs without a stove?

Well guess what! You can keep on crackin'! Microwaving eggs is a wonderful way to eat your
eggs!  You don't even have to add extra fat for the frying pan :)

I have been eating "Cup Eggs" since I was a little tike!  I remember peering over the counter and watching the eggs puff up inside the microwave in awe...  An egg is an egg, no matter how you cook it! All you need is a mug, and you can enjoy fluffly, scrambled eggs in the comfort of your dorm.

Forget Shively's limited Breakfast Bagels! You are in control of your breakfast sandwich now, and your options are limited!  Jazz up your cup eggs with cheese, ham, and veggies!
Here's a recipe for my go-to breakfast sandwich to get you started!

Dormroom Eggs over my Hammy Sammy!

What You Need:
-A microwave
- Eggs
- a splash of milk
- Salt and Pepper
- Ham
-Whole Wheat Bread
- Cheese of your liking
- Your favorite Condiments

1. Crack your egg into your mug and beat it.. JUST BEAT IT! Add your salt, pepper, and a splash of milk for fluffiness!

2. Microwave for aprox. 2 minutes (keep an eye on it... It should puff up inside the mug!)






3. Top your toast 
(TOASTERS IN THE DORM ARE ILLEGAL... But I am a Badass.)
with your ham, cheese, egg, and condiments!  I am a fan of ketchup on my eggs, but you don't have to be!


4. Enjoy a lighter, simpler breakfast sandwich packed with protein, and whole grain!

Fabulous Finger-Foods

Fingers... good for so many things. 


 Reaching deep into the peanut butter jar, shoulder massages, peace signs, and even nose-picking! You may only have two hands, but you have ten fingers!  Imagine how sad life would be without your thumb to pinky.  Without your phlanges the fun of hand-holding and flipping people off would be lost.  

Nah  I ain't Sayin' she's a GOLDDIGGER!

Even the queen likes finger food !

There was a time when fingers were our only eating utensils. Instead of relying on silverware for our eating, let's forget the forks and celebrate your fingers with some bite-size treats!  Here are some top picks when it comes to finger-food!  




Petite Cucumber Cream Cheese Sandwiches

What You Need
- 2 slices of Wheat Bread
- Vegetable Cream Cheese
-Cucumber Slices


1. Smear your bread with the veg. cream cheese and layer on your cucumber slices

2. Cut off your crust... Why?  Because crust ain't classy.






Lite-Tuna Salad Bites

WHAT YOU NEED:
- Tuna
- Wheat Crackers
- Pepper Relish
- a squeeze of lemon
- Lite- Ranch Dressing
- Carrots and Feta for garnish


1. Mix your tuna, a squeeze of lemon, a bit of lite-ranch dressing, and pepper relish.

2. Top your crackers with the tuna salad and garnish with feta... carrots.. or whatever the heck ya' like!







Fluffer- Nutty Rollups

WHAT YOU NEED:
- Wheat tortilla
- Peanut Butter
- pecans
- heath bits
- marshmallow topping
- caramel topping
- berries for garnish

1. Spread a thin layer of peanut butter on the tortilla and sprinkle the pecans, heath.

2. Drizzle a tiny bit of the marshmallow and caramel inside.

3. Roll-up! ROLL-UP!

4. Slice little bite size morsels and proceed to dip into extra mallow/caramel... Mmmm.... Fluffy...

*** YOGURT is a FABULOUS substitute for the marshmallow ;)***



Enjoy your classy Hors d'œuvres and remember... Pinkies up!