Mystery Mega Muffins.

You've seen em'. You have probably even indulged in a few. Sitting like a fat little critter behind the shiny glass counter of your local coffee shop or bakery.  They are what I call Mystery Mega Muffins. Usually the size of your head and given names like "Low-Fat," or "Blueberry-Banana-Nut" to make you think they are nutritious. Don't be deceived.  Specks of berries, or a sprinkling of nuts all but cover up the gross truth behind most Mystery Mega Muffins.

Col. Nathan R. Jessep:	You want answers about them MUFFINS?
Lt. Daniel Kaffee:	I think I'm entitled.
Col. Nathan R. Jessep:	You want answers?!
Lt. Daniel Kaffee:	I want the truth!
Col. Nathan R. Jessep	You can't handle the truth!

Q; What's the difference between most muffins and a cupcake?

A: Muffin at all!

Case and point...

Otis Spunkmeyer Muffins Wild Blueberry

Calories:	420 cal
Fat:	22
Saturated Fat:	3
Cholesterol:	0
Protein:	0
Carbohydrates:	0 g
Fiber:	0
Sugars:	30
Sodium:	0

Otis Spunkmeyer Banana Nut Muffin

460 calories
22 g fat (3 g saturated)
32 g sugar

Wow! A muffin with the calorie equivalent to a double cheeseburger! Amazing! 
And according to http://www.spunkmeyer.com/Our-Products/Channel-Information/Foodservice-Products/Muffins/Muffins/,  


"— 7 out of every 10 (Otis Spunkmeyer) muffins are bought on impulse!" I know how tempting they look in line at the university market, but you may think twice before stocking up.

How about a muffin that lives up to its wholesome reputation? With all natural, real, good-for-ya ingredients that you can pronounce! You cannot go wrong with these soft and sweet treats that are perfect for fall!

Cinna-Apple Walnut Muffins

1 Apple - peeled and sliced 

2 Tsp Butter

1/2 Cup chopped walnuts

A sprinkle of cinnamon sugar

2 C Flour

1 tsp Baking Soda

1 tsp cinnamon

1/2 tsp allspice

1 egg

1 cup applesauce

2 TB veg. oil

1 C Brown Sugar

1 tsp vanilla

2/3 cup quick cooking oats

1/2 cup raisens/craisen/ or whatever dried fruit you fancy

  ---Preheat Oven to 350

1. In a small skillet, melt butter and toss in sliced apple and walnuts and cinnamon sugar.  Over medium heat, allow for the apples to soften and the walnuts to toast as you build that batter.

2. In a separate bowl, sift together flour, baking soda, cinnamon,  and allspice.

3. In another bowl combine egg, applesauce, veg. oil, brown sugar,  and vanilla. Stirrrrrrritup!

4. Fold together the wet and dry ingredients. Do not over mix.

5. Fold in the oats, raisens, and the apple-walnut mixture.

6. Drop batter into muffin liners. Only 3/4 of the way full please!

---- *If you want to get fancy, sprinkle the tops of the muffins with walnuts, cinnamon sugar, or apple slices before you bake!

7. Bake for 20 min or untill a toothpick comes out clean!

8. ENJOY a guiltfree- delicious muffin... Or two... Or three?

This muffin that DOESN'T add stuffin' to the muffin-top ;)

Urban Dictionary definition of 

5.	muffin top	334 up, 108 down
	buy muffin top mugs, tshirts and magnets When your love handles burst out over the top of your tight pants, giving your lower back/butt the appearance of a muffin. Man Look at Joanie over there with those skanky jeans on, she sure has a wild case of muffin top.